Spending so many years in Japan as an English speaker meant that life was almost never boring. All that I had to do was leave the house to find all manner of funny, cute, or just plain weird phrases written in English by an obviously non-native speaker.
I have been going through some of my old photos in my spare time, and been digging out all of the Engrish so that I could share it with you!
Click through for the pics!
This was a pencil case for little girls. I’m not sure what they were going for.. but perhaps she will attract some very merry friends indeed!
Only one doughnut for you!
This isn’t really Engrish, per say, but the label says “Cream Suica.” A suica is a watermelon. I’m just not sure what part of this yellow watermelon is creamy. Plus.. it’s a yellow watermelon! I did eat one, and it surprisingly tastes like a regular watermelon. There’s no cream in these melons!
This is a garbage can at Tokyo Disney Sea (a more adult-oriented Disneyland) urging us to make much waste. 🙁
“Lac Lac: Deliciousness and energies developed by fermentation make a busy adult energetic.”
Are you telling me that fermented deliciousness will perk me up? Sign me up!! By the way, the japanese on this label says that it is apple-flavored, and proudly proclaims that it’s a low-calorie beverage. Oh boy!
This is the dirty sign to a restaurant that I adored, called PANCAKE DAYs. It served things like hamburgers and sandwiches with pancakes instead of buns. I can’t tell you how delicious and fattening this was! I may be a vegan now, but I have fond memories of the food that I ate at this place with the strange name.
L♥VE BANANA DOUGHNUT.I don’t care that it’s an incomplete sentence. I kinda want one now.
I just included this because it’s a cow in Roppongi. Not a real cow, given. But it’s still a cow statue. In an elite upscale shopping district of Tokyo.
Yep, this says “Turd on the Run.” I can’t make this shi*t up.
Guratann or doria, anyone?
How about some miracle fruit? Oops, I mean mirakle furuits! There is a big difference.
Here are some delicious milka naps for you! Guaranteed to cause drowsiness. Diapers not included, contrary to advertising.
Apfel Corny Free. I’m not sure where to start with this one?
I don’t know about you, but I find this one quite exciting. It must be the GEO FiELD, or the Garage…. nope, it’s the ERECTA.
This was, believe it or not, a trash can in a public restroom.
You must give up smoking to enter this establishment. Can I get one of these for my house?
This one isn’t Engrish as much as just pure WTFness. I got these Shika funjatta choco dango in Nara one time. What does that mean? It says, “Chocolate dumplings pooped out by reindeer.” Just in case you couldn’t tell by the illustration!
GLAMOUR PANTS THECHARM. I want to be seemed in this way indefinitely.
I think that her boyfriend picked out this shirt.
Horikawakitaoji is just the name of a place… but what a sign! (This is only funny if you have a naughty mind)
Courtesy of the JUMP Store in Osaka, You are not take food. They actually mean that you can’t bring food or drink into the store, but can you blame anyone for not understanding, and eating over the Dragonball figurines?
This is from the Butlers Cafe, where you get a real, white guy dressed in a suit, to serve you lunch. Oh boy! I’m not sure if this is Engrish or not, but who cares?
The welcome card sort of makes the entire trip worthwhile! Today I am _______ (fill in the blank).
How about some Whipped cream decolation?
Believe it or not, this horny substance flexible cream is NOT an adult item! Well, unless you get corns down there.
Aaaaand number 25.. You need to understand Japanese to get this one, but you have me to help you with that!
It says (in english written in phonetic Japanese script) BJ low chest.
Who ever said that a pushup bra is best?
I have many, many more where this came from! And I will post them all!! Stay tuned!