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That comic that I’ve been working on FOREVER? Well, I’m finally taking the leap. I’m scared to death, but I’m going to make the leap without a safety net, really. Harness, pshhh, who needs it?

When things are hard, fall back on what you love. I found that although I’m lacking in sleep, I’m actually feeling a LOT better, if that makes any sense. Or, I could be delirious. Thuy and I are good. I love drawing. Obviously, I need sleep. I’ll go do that (and please order the book while I’m sleeping).

Please go order a copy RIGHT NOW!

There are three options for the comic. You’ll be getting the same story, same content, but either ebook or physical copy (or both), plus little extras that I’ve been dying to make. Here are the options:
1) Ebook only
2) Ebook and physical copy (perfect bound)
3) Commemorative edition (physical book, ebook, signed original postcard, and collectible acrylic charm)

I’ll base the printing quantity on how many orders I get. Whether I continue the comic will also depend on how many orders I get, so please help me spread the word! I promise you won’t be disappointed! For more details, read the link (and don’t forget to order right now!).

I’m really exhausted, because I’ve been up for nearly two days straight with only three hours sleep, I will be updating regularly on my progress, so buy copies, share this post, and stay tuned!!

PS: The release date, August 5th, is my birthday. Yep. :) Zzzzz…

Blank space.

I keep crying. I feel like I’m on a rickety old roller-coaster, with my feelings going up and down wildly, propelled on a track laid out before me that I can’t control. All the time, there is a fear hanging over me when some part of the foundation crumbles, I will fall to my death.

It’s like, I should be optimistic. But how can I be when a promise doesn’t mean anything anymore?

Two days ago, she said that she’d never leave me. Then yesterday, she wanted to know whether if we ever broke up, we could be friends. Then, again, she said that she’d never leave me.

I am going to have to get another job to make ends meet right now, as I’m just not productive enough. I hate the idea, because out of everything that I want right now in the world, I want to 1) Spend time with my girlfriend (and feel loved), and 2) create stories/comics that people love. I thought that it would be impossible to juggle all three, because she won’t make the time to see me every day if I have such a rigid schedule, but she promised that she would.

Yet, I haven’t even found a job yet, and she’s already saying that she wants to spend days away from me, and I can’t come over.

It’s breaking my heart. I wish that I didn’t have to complain, but I don’t have any other outlet, really. I can’t lose her, not when I’ve fallen for her so badly. Not someone that I care for this much. But I also can’t bear to not see her. Sometimes it feels like it would be easier if I didn’t exist at all. I mean, then nobody could hurt me, and I’d never have to cry like this.

It’s 9am, and I’m sitting on my living room couch, and thinking about how one year has already passed since I moved to Hawaii, and all of the things that I wanted to achieve in that time that kind of got lost in the mire. I don’t know why…. Is it because I have been depressed off and on? Is it becauese I feel like I have remarkably little control over my life? Is it because I’m so blindingly poor that I had to put my rent on credit cards for the last two months and they’re maxed out?

I should focus on the good things. This is my one-year anniversary with Hawaii, after all! It’s longer than I stayed in Aberdeen, and 1/9th of the time that I spent in Tokyo. Gosh, I miss Tokyo, now that you mention it. A LOT.

Is it because I’m in a new relationship? Thuy and I have been going out for three months as of today, but it feels like at least a year and a half. I feel like I know her so intimately, and like I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I love her so, so much. Sometimes I’m afraid, though, that she’ll choose to walk away from me because I love her too much, as if my love could be a heavy, unyielding weight pressed down upon her that she’ll want to run from. So, I think that I should be independent and not clingy. Only to realize that I miss her too much, and am scared to lose her.

I guess that’s how it goes?

I’ve always loved my blog, so it’s going to be my therapy right now. Let’s see how this goes? Thuy is sleeping in my room, and I’m alone on the couch, writing and thinking about so many things. I’m going to work on an art piece for my comic now– the cover. Maybe, maybe I can finish today? If so, that would certainly be reason to celebrate!

It’s scary, I have to admit it. Nothing is safe, nothing is sane. If I don’t make enough to live, then I’ll be kicked out of the room that I’m renting, and then what will happen?

But.. I’ve decided to take a huge gamble! It’s now or never, and I am really tired and stressed-out from waiting for so long for the stars to align (basically for me to win the lottery, lol). Forget that! I’ll make my own destiny!

I’m going to start up my manga production company! What does that mean? That means that I’ll make it my full-time job to draw manga and put it out, and hope really strongly that I don’t crash-and-burn! After my own manga, I will grow to hopefully put out manga by other people, and amazing light novels, and all sorts of fun goods. I’m getting an agent, too, who will help me book conventions to come and speak and meet everyone and spread knowledge about making manga, and living in Japan. 

But, right now, what I need is money! I don’t want to ask for donations or anything; I want to work for it, my very hardest!! (Although, I honestly won’t refuse it if you want to invest in a startup. You can send me donations through Paypal to hinoai@hotmail.com if you’re a giver.) I really want to give people something awesome in return for their money, though! This means that I’m going to open back up commissions! I’m only taking a limited number (enough to earn what I calculated that I need to survive for now), so this is your chance! It’s maybe the only chance that you’ll get for a while to get a custom little portrait from me, so I highly encourage that you take advantage as soon as you can!

You can order them from my Etsy shop NOW, for a limited-time: https://www.etsy.com/shop/JamieismPro

I tried to imitate Grace’s style… did I succeed? It sort of ended up halfway in-between our styles, lol. I’m no master imitator like that guy who did those Sailor Moon portraits, that’s for sure!

Oh, wait, what was I talking about? This is going to sound really advertise-y, but I’m not getting paid for this. I’m writing it because I want to. As in, I really, really loved these books SO much!

One evening, I was especially missing Japan (I do that a lot, especially when I’m stressed-out or upset. I am increasingly thinking that I’ll end up moving back someday, but anyways!), and I was browsing Amazon for some retail therapy. Grace’s book, My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy, had come up about a million times in the search results, but I always ended up passing it by because I wasn’t married. I didn’t think that out experiences would be all that similar. One night, though, I decided, what the hey, I’d go to her blog that the book was compiled from, and read the comics there. What could I lose but time, anyways, right?

Oh, I used up a lot of time, but it wasn’t a loss at all! I fell in love with her cute, quirky style, the craziness in which she lives her life (we have similar ways of thinking about a lot of things), and the gung-ho positive note with which she wrote. She’s also in-and-out of depression, like me. Her stories made me chuckle, and I related to them SO MUCH, and started to miss Japan 687,5492 times more. Really. (Thanks, Grace) So, I liked her Facebook page, and saw that she was writing a second book. When I saw that she was looking for people to review her new book, I swallowed my fear and sent her an email.

I don’t know why, but I find this sort of email really nervewracking! It’s like, how will fangirling “Hi, I really love your work, you are so talented and I am a huge fan! I related to your experiences a lot, and here is info about me, too, just in case…” come across? She’ll think I’m weird, right? It will seem braggy that I mentioned my stuff, right? But I do that so that people get a sense of who I am….. aaaah! You guys know what I mean, right? Anyways, the email that I got back was long and sweet, and she even knew who I was and had read my blog! AHH! I’m glad that I swallowed my fear.. speaking of which, I really need to write her back now. ^o^;;

So, I read both books, and that was the point of this post, right? They were so, so awesome! She gave me the e-books for free before publication, but right now, EVERYONE can get them for free on Kindle! Go, quickly, before the free promotion ends!

 

Not that more-than-free is a bad price AT ALL! They’re SO definitely worth it! The print versions are definitely on my Wishlist (which I use as a to-buy list, although you’re welcome to send me a surprise present from it anytime if you want to make my day!) for me to get one day. Unless someone beats me to it! Which reminds me, I want to send Grace a copy of The Princess of Tennis, too. :)

Hawaii in Panorama

I was just thinking about all of the panoramas that I’ve taken with my iPhone in Hawaii, and I thought, why not post my favorites? PS: The iPhone panorama feature is soooooooo much fun! I don’t need a new hobby, but it just happened! I’m powerless to resist!

…wow, that took a lot longer than I thought it would. I hope that you enjoy! *goes back to work*

(Click on the pictures to see them full-size)

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Yesterday, a friend sent me an article about falling in love. You can read it here. It was basically about creating artificial (in my mind) intimacy by answering increasingly personal questions in front of someone, listening to their answers too, and staring into each other’s eyes. I made a joke that I wanted to put all of the answers on my blog and see what happened, and somehow, this actually happened.

Don’t blame me! Okay, blame me. I am sure that nothing will happen except that you’ll all tell me to stop talking about myself and get back to drawing so that I can launch my webcomic on time, and finish all of the commissions that I’m doing, then get mangas out and samples sent out and… ahhh, so many things! Right now, though, I just finished a run, and I’m feeling like I want to write. Here we go. :)

ANSWERS: The 36 Questions that lead to love (answered as best I can, as my partner right now is a cat meows in Japanese). ((Click here to read on about how crazy I am!))

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